smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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