I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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