we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
dude. I can hear the air.
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