shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?