just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.