Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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