the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
