But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
