i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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