what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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