$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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