need another drink. this is the easiest way
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
