oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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