When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
