I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
