I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
birth control should be required to get into college
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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