i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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