it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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