There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
