So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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