I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
