I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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