This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
