What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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