Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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