Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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