No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
