You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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