he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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