I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
