Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
