DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
