My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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