He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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