Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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