he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
