Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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