Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
