The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
