Apparently you make a good broom.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
