real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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