he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
