i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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