But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
