Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
