are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
