a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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