Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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