oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
