he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
