Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
