He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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