Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
