I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
