Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
