i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
