haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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