I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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