Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
