dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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