You don't have asthma, your pregnant
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need water and some morals
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
