wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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