I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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