What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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