i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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