worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
